55 Fiction – A Window to Soul

Inspired by the absolutely wonderful 55 fictions penned  by Divsi, I too tried to test the unknown waters. So here I am with some musings of mine -

She had just one window and it meant

the world to her. She was happy to have the window gaze at her with its wide eyes until the day she saw in those eyes the pitter patter of raindrops without and was left wishing that she too had some tears to quench her arid soul.

Sharing borders with Pakistan

I came across this beautiful blogpost my journalist(NDTV)Uma Sudhir and felt the urgent need to share it with all who want to break the barriers and reach out.Uma Sudhir happened to be there in Pakistan when it was rocked by three consecutive days of violence, last week. She tells of her experience there and on reading all that she has to say I am enthused with such indomitable hope - a hope in the innate ability of human beings to connect across races and borders.

My wishes for hope and love in opulence in your life - the two feelings I believe can set everything right.

http://www.ndtv.com/news/blogs/hidden_agenda/inside_pakistan.php

With Her Gaze

There was nothing that could hold her back. She wanted to go and she would. In her small and expressive eyes I saw the inevitability of her being and the inevitability of her not being.Nobody dared utter a word to her. No farewell was given, no parting words were said and she went.

I couldn’t sleep that night, her steady gaze that was fixed upon her hands almost haunted me and I felt them spying on me from somewhere within. The gaze was her shadow and now that she had gone her shadow had  strangely fallen behind. i felt uneasy, scared and almost helpless. It penetrated into my consciousness and entered the dark walls of my zone of the unknown, it looked at all that I had been refusing to accept as real … as mine – my anger, my insecurities, my love, my fortitude and my death. Suffocated in the darkness of that cluttered space the gaze moved away.

Free from the forced presence of the intangible sight, I felt like my same old self - blind, deaf and numb.

To Life … With Love.

Do you need a reason to feel happy? Or you could be happy just anyway. I know,you might feel that I am a completely unpredictable blogger, despondent one moment and talking of happiness the other. But  I guess that is how it goes with life. It has just the right measures of everything ready for you and the moment it thinks that you have had the right dose of one feeling or experience it feeds you with the other.

Sometimes this constant feeding by life leaves one perplexed and with a set of “whys” – why did it have to happen now or happen to me or why did it have to happen at all – but clearly life doesn’t care a tiny bit about all of this. It is too busy being your good mother giving you the right thing at the right time.Remember if as a child you couldn’t get your way with your mother and had to do her instructions its nothing different with life now. It just won’t let you have your way like any strict and concerned mother.

So here a little advice for myself and all like me -

“Never ask why life is a certain way because it cannot be otherwise.

So be patient and take the prescribed doses with love.”

With no Answers and a Wish

I wonder what is it that I do in life. There are moments when I feel completely at loss with myself. Everything that I do and say does not seem to be in sync with what I should be doing. Why again and again such a phase comes into my life, intrigues me with questions about myself that I can't answer. Is it because I am unstable and fickle or is it because I do not want to live my life in measured spoons?
I wish I had an answer.I wish I knew what it is with me and how I  can just blow these phases out of my life and strive to set things right happily and ceaselessly.
I just wish..

life, me, void

Violence in all forms

I claim to be a follower of the Gandhian values and on this account have always had debates with several of my friends, who find Gandhi and his principles to be outdated or impractical.They condemn him for following a highly inappropriate approach to attaining freedom.

Debates being debates, they mostly ended up with heavy exchange of arguements and with something I later realised to be emotional violence.

Violence becauese in the course of debate I got angered by the counter arguemnets, I got angered by the fact that my friend did not respect someone whom I honour.

The fact that something which I hold to be right is considered wrong by someoneput me off and I vehemently tried to make my point(not without prejudices).

A queer blend of pride and self assertion. Phew!!

Ironically, while I believed that I was advocating for the Mahatma, his values and believes were far from all of it.

Having learnt a lesson, I try not to participate in any of those debates anymore and leave my fellow beings with the joy of believing in what they do and save myself the same pleasure.

All I believe in doing now is being and doing what the Mahatma has preached through his life. I let my thoughts and deeds do the advocating job now.

I do not worry about being winning his cause against people who disbelieve Gandhi because Gandhism has ceased to be a dogma and has manifested itself as a way of life.

A way which is not just diificult but brave.

Its a way which takes me closer to my being.

As I essay through this path of self discovery with all those who aspire for truth and non violence (in all possible forms),my prayers for a truthful and peaceful living remains for all.